Mekong Delta Tour

So after a rather heavier night than planned celebrating with old friends we headed off for our two day Mekong Delta tour. First we hit the Cao Dai Temple...a very colourful temple interestingly guarded by both demons and angels and featuring the backwards swastica which stands for reincarnation. All in all an interesting religion composed of apparently the joining of seven "regionalised" religions of Buddhism, Hindu, Christianity, Catholicism (which is apparently a different religion to Christianity? Am I being naive here?), Muslim and something else...I'll find that one out later! Each had images of its various prophets up above the alter. By far the best thing about Cao Dai is that it considers Louis Pasteur, William Shakespeare, Joan of Arc, Sir Winston Churchill and Napolean Bonaparte to be saints!

Next we hit the local longboats for a through the narrow delta waterways which were completely surrounded by tall palm fronds. We learnt how to make coconut sweets, through squashing old coconuts and mixing with chocolate and peanuts (paraphrased so don't try this!). Then we held a Python around our necks - that was cool but what wasn't was the huge great red ant crawling up the length of the snake towards me! Oh yeh and green tea with honey is really good.

I then commendered our vessel for my own uses, captaining it across the choppy waters to my booty on the far shore! Aaarrrgghhhh!! From here I whipped the local vagabonds into shape and they paddled us upstream, deep into enemy territory through the palms and reeds of some of the narrowest waterways on the delta. We all looked particularly great in our vietnamese hats and waterproofs when the heavens opened! Upon landing the locals danced their traditional (since 1920!) folk songs which teach the children such things as how to rotate crops. Meanwhilst we invested much artistic expression in the construction of our face of fruit. I also tried on a Kung Fu style shirt and looked particularly dangerous!

Here you really need to see the video to believe it, but we got on a ferry to go across the Mekong but the current and wind on the river was so strong that the ferries actually had to head a good 45 degrees upstream of their intended destination to actually reach it! Even so the were swept rapidly downstream...you can see why they are building a bridge.



The first Vietnamese word we learned at our homestay that night was 'Yo'. You say it whenever it goes quiet and pretty much any other time you fancy at which point everyone has to toast with their rice wine (yup the nasty 40 percent stuff from a few days earlier!). Martin got stuck down the end of the table with 'Dad' and 'Uncle' who preferred to drink rather than eat, so whilst the rest of us could sup to each toast he downed pretty much every single one. The second word we learnt was 'Tuk', which means 'a little' - used in the context of them pouring your rice wine. Interestingly though 'Tuk Tuk' actually seems to mean a double, Tuk Tuk Tuk probably about a quadruple and so on. Fortunately the food was awesome and plentiful else we might have all come off a lot worse. The people we were staying with were actually rice farmers, usually getting up at 4 or 5am to start work and in bed by 6pm. Tomorrow they were definitely not going to be up that early...though it sounds as though they are so used to drinking rice wine that they don't even get hangovers - maybe that should have been the solution at Uni?! That night we slept in a Bamboo hut over a cat-fish farm - you could hear them jumping in the night!

Next day first stop was the noodle factory where they basically made huge white-rice-chip pancakes, put them on bamboo, dried them in the sun (if ever available!) and then cut them into strip with a mangle-like device. Absolutely nothing was wasted with the rice husks used to fuel the fire on which to cook the pancakes, the white rice sold at the market and the rest was fed to the animals.

A few more delta waterways past women doing their washing in the muddy water and under a monkey bridge or two. Called-so because people crossing looked like monkeys as they really have to stoop and cling on. Well except for a fat German woman who broke the trunk and fell straight in so that tourists are no longer allowed to cross them! Gluttony is selfish.

The rice factory was next with its laughable health and dafety - machines could easily rip hands, feet and full limbs clean off and the drive belts all ran without guards. Rice was taken to the boat on two huge baskets on a piece of wood over on shoulder. The guys carrying the baskets challenged us to have a go. Martin struggled for a good minute (we have a video!) - due to a lack of proper stance and twisting I believe - either that or I'm superman as I managed to life it straight up. It wasn't a comfortable cutting right into my shoulder though and I've no idea how they balanced across a narrow plank to the boat with it!

From there we headed to the floating produce market - actually a proper floating market unlike the floating tourist trap in Thailand! Here they attached the produce they had bought from the local farms or the sea on offer to a bamboo pole and sit it out for days until everything they had was sold...and then trot off back to get some more.

Today was the day to try my first meal of snake...and in all fairness probably the last, well unless it also comes in fillet form as what i had seemed like tiny scraps of chicken with tough skin and too many small bones involved...not quite the huge snake fillets Jamie and I were expecting.

In celebration of, er, Bia Hoi being in Saigon we headed back to sample some more. The waitresses in Eden Bar who seemed to have a fascination with us and so dutifully tried to teach them English drinking games and get them drunk. Apparently bar staff aren't allowed to drink tho so instead we just got hammered...well we can cope with that - back to freshers week again!