Summer Palace and finally a nice Chinese person!

Amazingly we got up in time for one hell of a long bus ride out to the Summer Palace in Beijing. Getting there we were approached as-ever by a whole host of touts and tour-guides, though this time we actually chose Lily who was a a gem, rather than getting ripped-off. Wow - this can occasionally happen. Whilst on this tour I was found to be particularly adept at telling which artifacts (including a table) were built for the purpose of holding water and which weren't. Quite a claim I feel!

The palace was rammed with a whole host of highly-collectible antiques (including the first telephone in China, built at Bell Laboratories), sculptures of animals and a whole host of beautiful paintings and woodwork all along the longest painted corridor in China (I'll remember what its called later). We also checked-out the Marble Boat and the 17-arch bridge. After a bit of farting about with Kung Fu poses and then checking out the government-ran shops (where you actually know you're buying non-imitation) we checked-out the lake area which was also gorgeous, and then on with out mission - to buy Martin a new guitar at one of the shops we'd seen earlier that day.

It was Lyly's last tour of the day so we invited her out for a meal back at the awesome Beijing-duck restaurant nearly next-door to the Leo hostel where we were now staying. It turned out she had played guitar years ago so we all got the chance to have a wee strum in the shops whilst we waited for Martin to decide. Finally we got to dinner, and once again it was awesome...even the strange corn-crispies cooked in fat and coated in hundreds and thousands which Lyly said we should try. What was also particularly good was the mash-potato with creamy cheese sauce...a great reminder of home. She said she had a huge appetite...which she wasn't lying about, but by the end of our enormous meal none of us felt like moving! Job-well-done and all for about GBP7 including wine!

The Great Wall of China

Another breakfast of Bauzers to accompany our very early start saw us on a bus out to a remote part of the Great Wall of China! It no longer actually stands on the border - which is a bit of a benefit as you can happily stand on both sides of it without being shot with a thousand arrows. The wall must have been a massive engineering challenge, always sticking to the highest point along the mountains to maintain maximum visibility of both sides...and maximum exposure to the elements. Having said this going up in a T-shirt, hoody, lightweight jacket and a ski-jacket was definitely overkill and was rewarded only by sweatiness, even at near-zero temperatures!

A long climb to a high peak was rewarded with awesome views over China and what used to be Mongolia. Longhorn sheep were found to be two-a-penny around the wall. We were lucky enough to happen across a particularly beautiful specimen.

That evening I embarked upon the challenge to find a teach-yourself Kung Fu DVD for the double hooks form for the third time since entering China. This time though it was a case of total success and in the process I picked up a few extra ones! Walking around on my own that evening a total of eleven separate groups of students came up to me asking anything from "would you like to see a caligraphy show" to "can we just talk to you to practice our English"...this one was often followed by "can we go somewhere to sit down and talk"? I'd imagine that'd be the local tea-house! Jokers. A good beef-pattie thing at the night-market saw off any small hunger-pains after our immense tofu-filled lunch.

That evening we hit Beijing Uranus Fashion Casino, Disco, LAX (??!), KTV (Karaoke TV) club in Beijing with a few American guys who were working in Shanghai for a spot of dancing, though I'm proud to say we didn't take part in any of the stand-infront-of-a-mirror-and-swing-your-hips dancing techniques which the local lads seemed to employ in order to, well I don't know really, look really camp?! Well it kind-of went along with the bar-staff wearing skirts, well kilts but its the same thing right??! Another particularly notable presence here were the armed police with helmets strutting around the place! Very commie and we definitely weren't allowed to take photos, well not so that they noticed anyway. An awesome night once again in one of those strange Chinese Supermarket, Karaoke and Dancing complexes!

The immensity of the Forbidden Palace, Beijing

The Forbidden Palace was just generally massive...an area probably measurable in square kilometers was covered in courtyards and palace buildings. Controversially though, for all its immensity there didn't seem to be a lot there. This was perhaps due in part to the government's intense restoration scheme in preparation for the Olympics, which blocked-out the views of the two main palaces and entrance to them too. The side rooms had a bunch of artifacts from all ages of the empire, including a really old calculator. Some of the throne rooms towards the North end were impressive, but I think the most interesting and beautiful part of the palace was the man-made rock garden which also came complete with excessively twisted trees.

The South-East side of the palace is the training ground for new police recruits...so we got to see them doing their ridiculous drills. The highlight of this involved them walking half a pace and holding one foot in the air out infront of them whilst their drill-sergeant checked the straightness of their legs and slapped them about if they weren't straight. Also featuring high-up on the amusement scale was the bum-wiggling walk executed by walking heel-toe-heel toe and swingy those hipsies! The video explains all...

Beijing - 2 cons in 1 day

After an unbelievably early flight up to Beijing, which we literally only just made, we got hassled by some guy (called Huang Wenzheng according to his card) as we got off the airport bus who was unbelievably persistent in offering a hotel which was (and I quote) "right opposite Leo Hostel" where we were intending to go and only costing Y120 for a spacious twin room - Y80 cheaper than the Leo's flier and only Y10 each more than a room. After umm-ing and arr-ing as we were also going to the hostel for the atmosphere, we figured things wouldn't be too bad if we were around the corner from it, so we could still book on tours and use their facilities.

It wasn't until about an hour after we arrived at the hotel (having already paid for one night) that I went out for a look-around. After walking just around the corner in the direction of what I assumed must be Tiannamen Square, it became obvious that we clearly were not in the middle of town. Amazingly the staff at the Jin Tai Lan Te hotel didn't seem to know where they were on a map and told me I needed to catch a bus to the square. A little more hunting and I discovered a computerized map stand in the street, and after a little guesswork around the Chinese symbols it became obvious that we were in fact miles from the centre between ringroads 1 and 2. Nice. Unsurprisingly I was a little pissed-off at this stage. Later-on that day I might have let that show (just a little...) when I happened to see the same tout again.

Feeling particularly pissed-off due to tiredness and Chinese people I headed to the square on the bus to find an international phone to call home and make me feel better. The area definitely wasn't endowed with phones though so it ended up turning into a look around and ultimately a chance to find the Leo Hostel. The square was enormous, though somewhat resembling what I'd imagine Red Square to look like in the winter...with its hazy icy glow. The outer gate to the Forbidden Palace was guarded by plenty of communist-looking policemen in their long green coats, whilst a massive portrait of Mao dominated the wall at the head of the square. A glimpse into the past I think. My walk into the outer reaches of the palace was also icy cold and strangely lit, but the iPod kept me company...Martin being a lazy bugger had remained in bed after our early morning start!

I then headed south through the square looking for the Leo, still very frustrated and wanting to hurt things! Walking through the subway two Chinese girls said hi as they love to do to westerners out here and then continued to ask if I was just visiting, or working here lalala. Amazingly they persevered through my particularly bad mood and my one word I-really-don't-feel-like-talking-to-anyone responses. Had I not still been hungover from the night before and feeling particularly annoyed by the whole hotel situation I might have thought there was something a bit suspicious about two "students" wanting to help a grumpy westerner find a hostel. Well their English was good, they were going the same way, and they seemed to know something about where to find hotels that were cheaper than hostels, this time in the right area of town...so I went along to see.

After some strange looks from the receptionists at both the hotels we checked out (as they thought we wanted a room for immediate hire for the three of us!) we bartered for one which was only Y70 per night and better than anything Martin and I had stayed in since Dali. Nice. Then they asked if I wanted to go for a food or a drink or anything...which didn't seem like a particularly bad idea as I had to wait for Martin to get over to the square on the bus before dinner. So I went along with the drink idea...and this is the point when I really should have been thinking a little more... NEVER say 'oh whatever you girls are doing' - which is exactly what I did say as by this stage I felt as if I had put them out getting them to chase down hotels for me! What an idiot. EVERYONE is out to con you! So they suggested going for what I thought was a cup of tea, but in fact turned out to be a tea-tasting ceremony. In all fairness the tea-ceremony was a lot of fun and I did learn a lot about the properties of tea and even get to see a little pee-ing terracotta man, used to check the temperature of the water. However, was it worth nearly GBP30? No it wasn't!!! Absolute jokers. Negotiations brought it down a little but even so it was totally ridiculous for something which I later found out should usually be free! They really should have tried for a little more though as in the end I still went under budget for China. Later, googling this con, I found out I'd got off rather lightly with other people being asked upwards of US$100! I'm glad I look poor. In conclusion, after the many attempted and successful cons people have tried to play, I've got to say I now believe that humans are essentially evil, with a thin veil of pleasantries forsted on them by society. A shame but its true...everyone's out for what they can get.

Anyways, on a lighter note, following a massive taxi ride across the expanses of Beijing, that evening we met up with Yoshiko who we'd met at Tiger Leaping Gorge, for a few drinks in a westerner student bar called Lush...original name! It was kinda strange walking into a bar which looked identical to a small student haunt back home and finding it populated entirely with westerners whilst we were in the middle of Beijing. The night was supposed to conclude at a Y50 drink-all-you-like nearby, but having had so little sleep, on this one instance we actually ended up having to decline the offer and go home to bed. I know weakness shown from the English side - sorry boys!

Extreme Xi'an-walling, Big Goose Pagoda

A late start and a necessary challenge...to ride a tandem around Xi'an wall, to notch up our methods of transport, but more importantly - to look cool! A little difficult to balance as you have to remember only one person should steer and you have to synchronize for any fast pedaling or stunts (see below!).

Following this a wee trip to the Big Goose Pagoda almost froze off our fingers in the bitter cold wind...not before some guy had tried to jump infront of Martin in the ATM queue by literally trying to push his card into the machine inches infront of Martin's! Joker. Martin won though, even disabled by a bauzer in his other hand. The pagoda was probably the tallest we'd seen and certainly the only one we'd been inside, with great views from the top and a crazy Chinese woman who ran around shouting excitedly at her video camera which she was using to record the ascent up every (240-odd) step. Sounds a bit like that 4-hour film travelling around the M25....nice.

That evening we got to see just how many innuendos we could slip into our free dumpling-making event back at the hostel. I'm quite sure the poor girls teaching us didn't get much of it but hey, we made them a dumpling snowman of sorts to go with the meat and two veg. Mature eh?!

Another trip back to the same bar resulted in the same games...and once again we made a mess of Northern England, USA and Canada in the drinking stakes! Great fun though as was 1-2-1 nightclub...even better music than the night before!

Terracotta Warriors and our First Gig!

The first stop on our tour on 23rd November was at the Party's souvenir Terracotta Warrior and Lacquer-ware Factory. The quick tour around here was great, showing us how the original army was crafted and assembled. Hands and heads were fired separately and later assembled on site. Each on of the thousands of units had a unique facial expression and clothing. Some of the units would also have wooden bows or wooden swords which they'd rest-on (and subsequently fall over once the sword rotted!) The same thing happened to the wooden chariots and the situation wasn't helped when one of the warring tribes broke in and set fire to their previous Emporer's tomb in defiance. You can still see some of the fire damage. Nearly a million people worked on the massive tomb complex - a slightly frivalous use of resources I feel! Still it did result in an impressive sight.

The smaller halls of guards were not so impressive, well some weren't unearthed at all, awaiting new-fangled-technology to protect the paint which had worn off the other warriors since they'd been exposed to the air. We made sure we had the spot where the German student stood, pretending to be a Terracotta Warrior...apparently that in itself is quite an attraction now!

Also buried with the emporer were a number of other artifacts, including some beautiful quarter-scale replica chariots (the other warriors are lifesize or bigger) and amazingly a zinc-plated sword! Yes, in a year still suffixed by "BC" the Chinese had invented 3-micron-thick zinc plating! Pretty impressive. I asked our guide how the knowledge was lost, as it did seem a bit of a silly thing to forget. It sounded like it was mainly due to the Chinese fretting that people would steal their knowledge...hence it knowledge was available to only a few select people who the died...oops!

A brief stop at another museum on the way back revealed that because I touched the claw of the Tiger first I shall apparently be wealthy and powerful, whilst touched the forehead so apparently warm fuzzy feelings will be a-plenty for him. You know how I know you're gay...

That evening we got playing one of the many Chinese dice drinking-games with a couple of English guys from the hostel and their mate the bar-owner! One thing led to another, as it always does when people get an idea in their head...the owner made us get up on stage and play our very first gig. It turned out to be a bit of a rendition of...well...anything we could remember whilst half-cut, so old-school oasis, a bit of Radiohead's Creep, House of the Rising Sun and I think a spot of Natalie Imbruglia's Torn. Mostly good tunes but probably not the best thought-out set ever! But its all about the exposure hey?! Clearly very impressed with our musical ability, a whole bunch of locals escourted us to ?Cat Club? for our first sampling of Chinese-cross-English hard house/trance, which was actually surprisingly good!

Xi'an History Museum

The Shuyuan Youth Hostel did an awesome sweet-and-sour pork dish for lunch after our slight bit of oversleeping! A wander south through the gate took us by way of what we first thought was a stadium, but in fact turned out tobe some kind of exhibition market selling some revolutionary new non-stick pan which appears to be particularly adept at producing behemoth stacks of pancakes and omelettes. If the chef had come with it we'd have bought one each to feed us on our travels!

A wander through what seemed like a student precinct, past the tiniest McDonald's I've ever seen and making what must by now be nearly our thirtieth bakery stop, we got to the History Museum after nearly ending up at some army-painting exhibition stacked with tour groups of policemen.

The History Museum seemed, for the most part, to be a fine arts museum, documenting art from the various Chinese Dynasties from a fair few thousand years BC until the present-day. This meant an exhibition of bells, masks, vases, china (little-c), warriors and copper mirrors. A selection of the pottery had a heat-reactive substance in the clay which gave each pot an entirely unique colouration which had a tendency to resemble dribbling green paint (in a nice way though!). The copper mirrors had no glass. Copper was used instead which rendered them as pretty poor mirrors, though I suppose it blurred the features of any ugly people who used them!! The back though were really ornate and to be honest having glass so many thousands of years BC would have been quite an achievement. There was also a six-by-six puzzle where you had to make all diagonals, verticles and horizontals add-up to 111, regarded as a sacred object and also an extremely ornate national treasure - a bull-shaped wine flask.

Xi'an flight delays, Bell and Drum Towers

So on 21st November, after having booked airline flights for the much shorter journey times than trains, the fog in Xi'an made a noble attempt at thwarting our plans - redirecting us to some random airfield for a two-hour wait on the tarmac before we could return for attempt two.
When we got to Xi'an the guy at the desk of the Shuyuan Hostel was a bit of a wanker - after having reached an agreement for a discount on the room rate before going to the room, when we came back downstairs he'd changed his mind and would no longer negotiate.

That afternoon we crammed in a quick look around the Bell and Drum Towers, traditionally used to signal dawn and dusk, though now you can pay 5 yuan for one ring or 15 for five at any time of the day...just another ride! Each tower had a little exhibition of bells and drums, and we managed to time it to the Drum Tower whilst there was a very talented group of traditional drummers were having a very loud and overpowering rehearsal for a show...you can see why the Chinese used drumming to intimidate their enemies! Upstairs the Drum Tower was very ornate and the traditional (for sale!) furniture exhibition was beautiful even if we weren't allowed to take photos (stupid rules which we ignore).

A walk through the Muslim Quarter behind brought us by way of various pea-cake sellers (I actually thought this was quite good) to a hotpot restaurant where you got to pick the food you boiled from a rack of skewers of meat, fish and veg lining the wall. The chili section of the hotpot was far too hot to try more than once - hot to the point where my mouth was on fire, my eyes watered and guzzling large quantities of water had little effect...outch!! The lamb and beef were pretty tasty as was the twisted bread. Twisted bread which incidentally the con-artist of an owner reckoned costed Y3 instead of the Y1-per-stick we'd been quoted...and on top of that she tried to charge us for the pot and the sesame dips themselves, landing us with a total bill of Y111! Complete joker - especially when we'd already seen a pair of locals pay no more than Y30 for a similar amount of food., So we started the bidding - first she very kindly reduced the price to Y110, then after some stupid arguments like "Musilms don't argue about price" she reduced it to Y80 and then Y50. I'm sure we could have got it for Y30, but the effort required to save GBP1.33 more hardly seemed worth it.

We headed back by way of Carrefour and the illusive cinemas, one of which we eventually found to be showing a film called Soldier in English - thanks to the help of a Chinese lady. It was definitely an early-to-bed night though so we left it for another night and headed back by way of the now eariely-lit Bell Tower, glowing in the fog.